Saturday, February 28, 2015

Try Again

I've been away for quite a while. Time to get back into the groove. I feel like we're finding our new normal after our move and we're settling in, finally!
  I feel like this post is going to be just a bunch of rambling, there's been so much on my mind lately. The kids are doing great, growing up and getting bigger day by day. Hailey is maturing so much, every day she surprises me in some way, reminding me that she's not my little toddler anymore. She is four, almost five. How has it been that long? It makes me sad, but also happy to see her thriving and learning. She has her first two loose teeth and she is excited, because, of course, that means she's growing up. She's becoming my little helper in the kitchen. She peels vegetables for me, she puts dishes away, she loads the dishwasher, and she's starting to get the hang of using the broom to sweep the floors. She's such a sweetheart and just loves to please.
  Blake is still my little man but has become more of a daddy's boy lately. He was three years on Valentine's Day. I miss the way I used to be the center of his universe but I'm so happy that Daddy means so much to him. I feel that it's important for him to have his daddy time, to 'help' him fix the car, to wrestle with, to play cowboys and Indians with; cops and robbers. All the things that I don't necessarily love to do, he gets to do them with Daddy. Of course, Hailey is usually tagging along too while I'm keeping Ava out of the way. And he doesn't go anywhere without his big gun and green hat. Green is his favorite color and he makes sure that everyone knows that! 

  Next we have Ava. She's growing up way too fast! She has 6 teeth, she can wave and say bye-bye, she crawls, she pulls up to stand and she walks next to things, she climbs the stairs, and she's not sleeping through the night, haha! But she's my joy. Every time I look at her I can't help but think of how we almost did not get to experience all of these firsts with her. My mind goes back to the day of her birth and I ask myself how did I get so lucky to have a baby that survived that with no long term complications. In all of my reading and studying about what happened at her birth I have read so many, many stories of parents that were not so lucky. Parents who have empty arms after going through what we went through. I have learned so much through this and God has really used it to teach me some major lessons in life. I know for a fact that He held her in His hands those first two days of life. I look back and remember what happened and think of all of the things that could have happened, that were so close to happening, that did not. God's grace is the only thing my mind can come up with! She's our little Jewel. Ava Jewel.
  Next is Mommy and Daddy. Mommy is just busy with the normal things a stay at home mom finds to occupy her time. Meals, laundry, reading and singing with the kids, crafts, cleaning, shopping (grocery shopping only because any other type of shopping with three little ones in tow is just not fun!), and that pretty much sums it up. My newest adventure is experimenting with fermented foods. I am so excited to finally be doing this. It is something I've wanted to try for years now but just have not taken the plunge and just done it. Well, I did milk kefir for a while last fall and that was a success until we moved. My grains died during the move and I haven't gotten any more yet, but I did just order some so I'm super excited about that! But in the last few weeks I've made Kombucha and cultured sourkraut. Here's the link for the one I made, it was so easy! http://www.culturedfoodlife.com/sauerkraut-without-a-culture/
It doesn't taste quite like the store bought fermented foods but I guess it will just take a little bit of playing around with it to get it the way I want.
  On top of the fermented foods adventure, I've been working on my plans for Hailey's first year of school that is sneaking up on me faster than I would like! There is so much out there that it all gets to be too much and I need to take a break. What style, what curriculum, etc... I think I have it narrowed down and am getting excited about getting to work on it with her. Another thing that has been eating away at me mentally and emotionally is Ava's birth and all that happened the way I did not plan it. It's hard to go from home birth to NICU. Harder than I had ever imagined. And on top of it to have midwives that seemed to have swept us under the rug to protect their reputation. I like to give them the benefit of the doubt, and I have been for almost 9 months, but it's starting to wear off. I'm really wondering what's up with them. This is all too much for this post though, I will have to address this in another post. There are too many details, too many things that just don't add up. Too much junk to hash it all out here right now, and honestly, I do not have the energy to do that right now.
  Last but not least is Daddy. He's been working so hard. We have accumulated some bills over the past few years that we just had not been able to catch up with and so he's been working overtime and two jobs to be debt free. I feel so bad about it because part of that debt was from me. Our home birth cost us out of pocket money and he was so gracious and willing to give me my dream anyway. He's so sweet, he just wanted me to have the experience that I dreamed of, a home birth. Moving on....But when he's home we all cherish the times we spend together. He plays with the kids and helps me so much, I feel lost without him here. We just spent 5 days together visiting our Hudson Valley friends and it was so refreshing. But now back to the daily grind. I love him so much, he's my everything!
  I suppose I should sign off now. Daddy will be home soon and the kitchen is still a mess. I put the kids to bed and came right to the computer to get started on this post. I've missed my blogging and am happy to be back at it again. I don't know why I stayed away for so long. At the end of the day it feels so good to sit down and write. I don't write because I plan on people reading it, I actually get scared at the thought of people reading this, ha! but I write because I want the memories of our every day life written down, to look back on and share with the kids when they are older. Something for me and Erik to sit down and read when we're old and gray, sitting on the front porch in our rockers, to remember our sweet times as a young family. So this is it, ramblings and musings of our everyday life. And hopefully many more to follow.
    

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