Home

This is getting so very real. I remember when we first moved here how we couldn't wait to move "back home". It's amazing how time changes things. Now as I sit here looking at all of these packed boxes my eyes well up with tears just knowing that the days of living where I now call home are almost of the past. Somewhere over the past 6 years, THIS has become home. "Back home" is no longer home, THIS is home.
This is where we have so many memories.
This is where we have some of the best friends we could ask for.
This is where so many things have happened that have shaped our family into what it is.
This is where we learned to be each others everything.
This is where we learned that life is not about money or how much stuff you have. It's not about being comfortable but about being where God puts you and wants you and being happy with that.
This is where we became a family of three, and then four, and now five.
This is where Erik has become the man of God that he is.
This is where I found salvation, and the peace that comes with that!
This is where we have watched our children go through medical problems and experienced answered prayers in every one of those situations:
        Accidents that involved a helicopter flight to Children's Hospital
        Unknown sky-high fevers leading to a diagnosis of a serious bladder/kidney abnormality in our 6 month old
       Hospitalizations
       A six hour surgery with our 13 month old little boy
       A very scary birth with our last child. For 4 minutes of our life we didn't know if we were planning a funeral or celebrating a birth.
      Waiting to hear if our child was going to live a normal life after the birth she experienced or if she was going to have lifelong handicaps. 

This is where we have seen God provide and work in amazing ways.
This is where we found a church and a pastor unlike any we've ever met before. 

This is where we have picked apples together every fall.
This is where we have gone hiking and biking, just enjoying the beauty of God's creation.

Looking back over the years I am so thankful for the time we have had to have lived here. I am not sure where our family would be had we not moved here when we did. All I can say is God has been so good. God has worked in amazing ways in both mine and Erik's life. I know some people do not and will not understand why it is so hard for us to leave our home. But these are just a few of the reasons. It is such an emotional roller coaster. I dearly love our family, but I dearly love my home and friends here too. Part of my wants to go, part of me wants to stay. Some days I feel like packing, some days I want to hide the boxes and bring back all of the furniture we have sold in order to make our move easier. I know that in time we will adjust, but it's that adjustment period that is going to be so hard. It's a huge change in our lives and I'm not sure I handle change well. This means a new job for Erik, a new church, a new neighborhood, a new climate, a new house. I will have to find a new circle of friends and a new support group for all of my mommy concerns. A new doctor, a new health food store, a new nutritionist, a new chiropractor. So many new things. When all of the new things look too hard to handle I think of the few that will be a welcome change and I start to feel like ok, I can do this. The welcome changes are family close by when I need help with the kids or when we want to go on a date. Family close by to get together for canning and preserving foods. Fun family birthday parties! My kids have never had a family birthday party, except for last year my mom just happened to be here for Blake's birthday. Holidays with grandma and grandpa! Field trips with cousins. Going for a tractor ride with their Uncle Ben. Learning about life with animals. Support for home schooling. And so much more! These are the things that I have to focus on when the hard times seem too hard to handle. When the emotions of leaving our home and church are so hard to get past, these are the things I have to remember. But for now we wait. We wait for a phone call that just 5 years ago we would have answered with the most enthusiasm.